Forced to take time out
Well, it's been quite a boring week for me, having spent most of it in my bed from having been sick. This week has been a big reminder of how important your mental state is when it comes to your health. Over the last couple of months I have had heaps of people around me getting sick and I have managed to avoid it, until now! Last Friday I had an emotional day. It happens to all of us, but I crashed pretty bad. I was excited about having published my book and was very happy that my Goddess Coaching Business was starting to take shape. I had a stack of videos filmed for my 30 day program and I was able to see the vision for where I want to take the business. All was looking pretty good, until I was forced to face some demons that I hadn't faced through writing my book. When I hit the publish button for my book, there was, of course, the excitement associated with it finally being done and being out there, at the same time there was a bit of hesitation. The things that I was putting out there were forever going to be 'out there'. There are people in my life that had no idea that I felt the way that I was feeling in my darkest times who may have been shocked or upset at reading them. I also deliberately didn't elaborate on some things because of the people that were still in my life. I didn't feel that it was productive. Despite this, I was faced with a reaction from someone close to me that I never really saw coming. It threw me into a spin. I was very emotional and didn't quite know how to deal with it. It did, however, force me to assess a couple of relationships which, if I am being honest, knew were quite toxic in my life. End result, I got sick.......
So I have spent the last week thinking, writing, processing and coming to terms with another change in my life, one which deep down I knew would be for the best, and needed to happen, but quite difficult to do all the same. I have taken a week of time out, to be kind to myself and let my body recover. I'm only human, so I am the first to admit that I have been frustrated, but it was important to allow my body that time to recover and not force it to do anything that it wasn't ready for. On the bright side, I have been suffering a foot injury for the last four weeks and this was the perfect opportunity to rest it without feeling guilty. For me, one of the biggest challenges with being sick is to overcome the guilt you feel over letting people down. I am proud to say that these days I am over the guilt of not training, but it is still difficult to not feel as though you are letting others down. I still don't like that. I am now starting to improve, but still need to make sure that I take my time getting back into things and look after myself, easing back into work and training. But right now I feel that I am getting the fire back in my belly to focus on training and nutrition. After all, I have a Bali holiday coming in about six weeks! Bring it on!